he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Less talking, more tequila
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
