i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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