We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
