Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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