thus making me awesome and them whores
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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