And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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