I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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