Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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