i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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