O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
