WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
