i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
