I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
