we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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