need another drink. this is the easiest way
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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