hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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