it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
