wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
