also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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