...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
