what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
