I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
