Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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