Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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