You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
