i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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