i barfeds in our rink
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
