you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
