Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
