I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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