I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You ruined the universe
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
