I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
