he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
