My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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