Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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