She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
