i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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