OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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