So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
