he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
