just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
