I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
