We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
