my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm getting married
To pizza
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
