he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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