im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
