thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
