Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
