The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
