I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
