I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
