So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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